


The Music Played Us

by annabanana22



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Music, Angst, Dirty Talk, F/M, Kylo Ren is a conductor, Oral Sex, Reader is a flute player, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:53:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25454986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annabanana22/pseuds/annabanana22
Summary: He walked past the cellos and the basses. And past all the violas. You scrunched up your nose in thought, eyes still trained on him, he didn't look like a violin player. But he passed them as well. He didn't stop until he reached the podium.He took a step up and turned and faced the group.This was the new conductor?You are a flute player for a prestigious symphonic orchestra, starting a new concert season. The difference between this season and last, Kylo Ren is your conductor. He is the type to get what he wants, and right now he has his eyes on you.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 14
Kudos: 59





	1. Dall'inizio

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you for reading this first chapter of this fic! I am really excited about this story and I have lots of ideas for it. I mention a couple of songs and they are both very fun to listen to (if you are a classical music fan)  
> Mozart's Symphony No. 41 in C Major "Jupiter"  
> Holst's Second Suite in F Major  
> Or here is a [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7LMy0NDFzOLRil2Z1Gqpq2?si=4yb6IHTNR-2KUkOyBEP6NQ).  
> Have a great day and stay safe everyone!!-A

The rain pounded down onto the city sidewalks as you opened the door. And  _ of course  _ your umbrella was nowhere in sight. Sighing, you dashed back up the stairs you had just hurried down, muttering to yourself, "Stupid rain going to make me late.”

You reached the third floor you hurried out of the stairwell and down the hall still muttering, "You need to just even look out the window, and you'll be more prepared for this." 

Reaching the door, you quickly unlocked it and rushed inside. Luckily the umbrella was in the hall closet so you were able to quickly grab it and hurtle yourself back out the door.

As soon as the door was locked you darted to the stairwell and ran down the stairs.  _ Please don't fall, please don't fall _ . 

You didn't need to meet the new conductor with a black eye from banging your face into the stairwell railing. 

When you reached the door, you opened it and stepped under the awning before opening the umbrella. After ensuring your bag was not going to get wet, you set off towards the performing arts center.

You were very grateful to have gotten a place close to the center so you didn't even have to worry about taking a bus or the subway to even get there. Of course for performances you would get an Uber, but today wasn't a performance so you weren't all that worried. 

Turning the corner between 18th and Kentwood, you saw the large, looming concert hall. You avoided the main entrance and walked to a side door on the left which led to the offices. 

After closing your umbrella and clipping it to the side of your satchel, you opened the door. Adjusting your hair, you hoped that the rain hadn't disrupted any of your makeup. 

Reaching into your pocket, you pulled out your phone to check the email. You skimmed it, looking for the information you were in need of,  _ Congratulations on a new concert series… we are thrilled to welcome a new conductor… music may be picked up tomorrow in Room 216 _ . 

You glanced at the stairs and hurried up them. Opening the fire door, you soon heard the tell tale noises of people practicing from various rooms along the hall. 

Room 216 was the music library and was the main attraction on this floor, the practice rooms were mainly to fill out the space. Opening the door, you saw a familiar head of brown hair and sighed. 

"Ah, good morning!" The short lady behind the desk greeted you. The brown haired man turned around and grinned at you before saying your name like it was some secret. 

"Hello, Noah." You sighed. 

"How was your break?" He asked you. 

"Good." You answered him shortly, looking at the librarian. "Hi Margaret." You said, stepping up to the desk. "I'm here to get my music." You told her your first and last name and she nodded before walking over to a box and rifling through it. 

"Here we are." She said quickly before Noah could begin talking to you again. "Looks like you have a solo this concert." 

Your jaw dropped. "A- a solo." You said. "But what about Louise and Nick?" you asked her about the two players that were ahead of you. 

"They both retired." Margaret answered you while pulling out the music release form for you to sign. 

"When did they do that?" You asked as you signed the paper. You had signed them before for the prior season, and it was basically to ensure that you would pay if it got lost or damaged. 

"They told us about a month ago and we had massive auditions for the flutes." She told you. "I haven't seen the two new players, but Iris came in earlier to get her music and she is now the piccolo player. And you are now first flute." You gaped at her. 

"And I have a solo?" You asked her to clarify again. She nodded before continuing.

"Speaking of," she slid you a paper, "the new conductor wants to meet one on one with all of the soloists to get them to have the right sound." 

You looked at the paper and saw a bunch of time slots of an hour each. A few were taken, but mostly they were all empty. 

There was a free slot tomorrow morning at 10 which was before you had work, so you quickly wrote your name and your instrument. 

Noah cleared his throat and you turned to face him. “So, what are you doing until rehearsal?” he asked. “It’s only 10:30, so we have a few hours.” 

You really weren’t interested in Noah, no matter how much he pined after you. It had been this way for the past two concert seasons that you had been with the Coruscant Symphonic Orchestra. 

“Well, I, uh…” you scrambled trying to think of something to say so you wouldn’t have to see him. You looked at the folder in your hand and inwardly sighed in relief. “I have to go look at this new solo.” 

“Oh.” he said. “Right…uh have a good time, see you later?”

“See you in rehearsal.” you told him, not wanting to make more out of the situation than needed to be. If you agreed to later, that could mean a number of different things and the last thing you wanted was for him to be bugging you.

You darted from the library and back down the hall you had just come down. There were two of the string players standing in the hallway talking, you didn’t quite remember what they played, only that they were two of the biggest gossips in the entire symphony. 

“Penny.” one whined as you got closer. “He’s so hot.” 

“I know!” the other one squealed. “Like I am going to have a really difficult time focusing in rehearsal if he is conducting.” 

You fought back a snort as you passed by them. A conductor,  _ hot _ ? They typically were old and smelled like cigarettes and beans. You heard your name called by one of them.

“Have you seen the new conductor?" Eliza? you thought her name was Eliza, asked with a sigh and dramatically fanned herself.

“Uh, no I haven’t yet.” you told her. 

“Girl, get ready for rehearsal today.” the other one, Penny, told you as she laughed. You laughed nervously as you walked away and wondered if the two of them had lost their minds. Or maybe they both developed a fetish for older men recently, and you just didn’t get the memo. 

Once outside, you unclipped your umbrella and walked down the street to the subway station. There were the practice rooms available at the concert hall, but it worked easier for you to use the ones at your job. The ability to leave items there for private lessons was such a lifesaver. It meant you didn’t have to lug it all around the city.

Once on the subway you pulled up your music and got out your headphones. You hummed along to the lyrics as Billie Eilish filled your earbuds.

You were barely paying attention to the stops as you zoned out and almost missed the 6th street stop. Luckily, the person standing next to you got off and startled you. Hurrying off before the doors closed, you smiled and started the trek up the stairs back into the sunlight. 

You couldn’t wait to tell Diana about the solo, this was a huge opportunity and hopefully you would be able to impress the new conductor tomorrow.

You opened the door to 6th Street Music Emporium and heard the bell ding over your head. The shop was owned by Diana and she had hired you to help run the desk occasionally, but mainly to give flute and piano lessons to various kids. It was a good job for you and you were still able to play music in all areas of your life, which was the dream. 

The shop's walls were lined with guitars and basses mainly, but there were other various orchestral and symphonic instruments as well. The left wall had 7 rooms for recording, lessons, or practicing. The far back had several old newspaper stands that were filled to the brim with practice books and books with fun songs that kids typically enjoyed. The floor was littered with drums and various keyboards, and in the middle there was a large circular desk. Sitting at the desk was a girl with chin length curly black hair. She looked up when you got in.

“Hey kid.” she said with a smile.

“Hey Diana.” you answered, returning the smile and walking up to the desk. She handed you a repair order slip.

“Someone dropped their flute off earlier, if you wanna take care of that.” she told you. You nodded and looked at the piece of paper.

“Yep. I’ll do that.” you nodded walking into the back room to set down your bag. While in the back you grabbed the repair kit and the damaged flute. 

“So guess what.” you told Diana as you walked into the main room carrying everything you would need.

“What?” she asked as she started packaging music book orders.

“I have been given a solo this concert.” you told her excitedly.

She turned to face you. “Congratulations! What solo?” she asked.

“Uh, I’m not sure.” You answered. You hadn’t really looked at the music you had been given earlier. 

“Go get it girl!” she told you, shooing you away. 

Once you returned with the folder, you opened it to look at the various pieces of music until you reached one that had a sticky note on it that read “ _ First flute, solo IV Fantasia on the Dargason _ ”

The piece was titled  _ Second Suite in F _ and was by Gustov Holst. You were familiar with the music and knew it was a wind piece and no orchestra was present. You wondered what this new conductor's game was, picking a piece that had no strings in it. 

The answer was found in a piece of paper in the back of all the music. It detailed all the songs with notes on each of them including a list of solos for each one, with your name written by movement IV of  _ Second Suite in F _ . Next to the entire suite there was a note that read;

_ This piece will feature our wind ensemble without the strings. At the first concert of the year we host various high school bands and orchestras, and the director of music wanted high school bands to be interested. So I selected a piece that solely focused on the wind instruments.  _

You showed the note to Diana who nodded in agreement. "Smart man." She said. "High school students need to be engaged with the music, I need new customers.” she joked.

You nodded in agreement before turning to movement IV,  _ Fantasia on the Dargason _ , and quickly finding the solo. You were really confused when it mentioned the solo was for a piccolo, not a flute.  _ So why were you playing it?  _

"Why don't you fix that flute and then run through the music before you go to rehearsal?" Diana asked you as she looked over your shoulder. 

"You sure?" You asked her, not wanting her to man it by herself. 

"Absolutely, it's been a slow day, and your lessons aren't until after you get back from rehearsal."

🎵

When the flute was fixed, you made your way to one of the practice rooms, your own instrument in hand. Inside each of the rooms was a piano, music stand, and a couple of chairs, so that an instructor and student could both sit inside. The walls were decorated with old pieces of music that had been donated by various people in the local music community.

After getting yourself warmed up and tuned, you pulled out the music. Flipping to the solo, you realized it was mainly a couple of easier runs and a trill. 

There was a sticky note stuck to the inside of the folder. You hadn’t pulled out the Symphony earlier so you didn’t notice it.

Hopefully the lesson tomorrow would go good and he wouldn't have you change anything drastically from how you were playing it now. 

You looked at the Symphony afterwards.  _ Mozart’s Symphony 41 _ , a longer piece than  _ Holst’s Second Suite _ , but full on symphonies typically were.

The symphony played rather easily, and you would have no problem mainly sight reading it later in rehearsal. And glancing at the time, it would have to do. 

You quickly packed up everything you would need, and made your way back into the main room. Diana was now with a customer who was looking at the drum kits, so you gave her a small wave on the way out. 

🎵

The concert hall’s architecture never ceased to amaze you. It had a rather ornate chandelier made up of hollow cylinders, hanging above the stage, which was purely for acoustics. Above the audience seating there were large parabolic dishes, made of glass. All of it combing to be an elegant display of acoustic mechanisms and architecture. 

Sitting next to your seat was the piccolo player that had been here for a number of years, already warming up. She was easily identified by her mass of curly brown hair, which today was tied back into a ponytail, which looked like it might burst at any moment. 

"Hi Meg." You grinned at her, while sitting down. She turned to you, a broad grin spreading across her face. 

"Hey. How have you been?" She greeted you as she set down her piccolo.

"Been good, busy with private lessons at the store." You told her. "How about yourself?" 

"Really good!" She told you with a wide grin. "Bryce was playing in Vienna so I got to spend some time there with him." You smiled and hoped your face didn't show that you had no idea who Bryce was. 

"That's great. How has he been?" You asked, trying desperately to picture who he was.

"He's great! Which reminds me, I need your address so I can mail you an invitation." She told you excitedly. Your eyes were suddenly drawn to a sparkly engagement ring nestled on her ring finger, Bryce was her fiance. He had proposed at the end of last year.

"Definitely!" You told her while getting your flute set up, and music out. You also grabbed your pencil to note anything this new conductor would say that might be important. Meg glanced at the sheet of music on your stand, the Holst.

“I saw that the conductor wants a flute to play the piccolo solo.” she told you, a hint of jealousy creeping into her tone. You held back the urge to roll your eyes. Half the time the piccolo was playing something different than the rest of the flutes. Making her music a default solo half the time. 

“Yeah, it is odd, maybe he hates piccolos.” you joked. Meg didn’t smile. 

“I talked to him about it, when I picked up my music.” she told you. “He said, he wants the solo to be lower than a piccolo.” 

“Makes sense, the piccolo is sort of shrill.” you said trying to ease the tension, “You met him?” she nodded. “What’s he like?” you asked

“Kind of intense.” she laughed. “Like really intense.” 

_ Intense, and apparently good looking. Quite the combo. _

You began to warm up as more and more people filled into the seats. You were in the middle of tuning when a young girl sat in two seats down. She was one of two new flute players. She was rather tall, with olive skin and curly black hair.

Her wide eyes and nervous glances gave away that it was her first time with a symphonic orchestra. Everyone had their first rehearsal with a professional group, and it was always rather nerve wracking, so to ease her nerves you turned to her and introduced yourself. 

"I'm Alicia." She said and the two of you shook hands. 

Your conversation was cut short by a short older man sitting down in between the two of you. And the other new flute player. 

He introduced himself as Allen, he previously was playing in New York, but moved here recently. This rehearsal had the potential to be very interesting, with half a new flute section and an entirely new conductor. 

Speaking of the conductor, the podium still stood empty, which at first it had felt normal, as most of the orchestra was missing. But now that a lot of the musicians had shown up, it was glaringly obvious. It was mildly upsetting that he had no care for being punctual. He still had a bit of time to go, but in your experience in the music industry, it was far better to be on time. Your previous conductor had a motto, "If you're early, you're on time. If you're on time you're late. And if you're late, you don't have regard for what you are doing."

The four of you then continued to warm up, before Meg tapped your shoulder.

"Are you in tune?" She asked.

"Yeah, need me to help you?" She nodded and you picked your flute back up and played a B to start. Piccolos were notoriously difficult to tune, and it worked best to use another flute rather than any sort of app.

She turned out to be a little sharp and adjusted accordingly, but over corrected because now she was flat. 

She tried again and before either of you could make any judgments a man’s voice that was rich like dark chocolate said "Still a little flat."

You looked up to see the owner of the voice, but all you could see was the back of a very tall man making his way towards the front of the orchestra. He had longer hair, for a guy, and was very broad. Since you couldn't see his face any longer, it made you wonder what he looked like and hoped he would turn back around before sitting down. 

It was odd that he wasn't carrying any instrument of music, but he could have just gone off to the bathroom or to get water, so it could very well still be at his seat. 

When he walked forward and more people noticed him, a hush went over the entire orchestra, the chatter ceased immediately and the sounds of tuning gradually tapered off. 

The room was now completely silent as he made his way to the front. You must not have seen the new conductor walk in. Looking around you didn't see anyone else walking, except for this new guy. It appeared like everyone was watching him, and it only felt appropriate to do the same.

He walked past the cellos and the basses. And past all the violas. You scrunched up your nose in thought, eyes still trained on him, he didn't look like a violin player. But he passed them as well. He didn't stop until he reached the podium. 

He took a step up and turned and faced the group. 

_ This was the new conductor? _

He was very young for one thing, and looked to be in his mid 30s, he must be very well accomplished, especially for conducting this caliber of orchestra this early in his career. 

He was also shockingly attractive, and at the sight of his face, your mouth went dry. His face was angular and appeared to be crafted by some kind of higher power. It was pure perfection.

His nose was a bit angled and, it suited his face very well, he wore a stern expression as he looked out over everyone. Locking eyes with various people. 

He looked at you for a moment, and you knew that you looked like a deer caught in headlights. The brief glance felt charged with electricity and you didn't want to break it for a second. It appeared as though he didn't, either. 

The moment was over all too quickly and he finally spoke, "Carry on, there is still a few minutes before I want to make announcements." 

The chatter returned but was quickly covered up with the sounds of instruments tuning and warming up. 

You and Meg quickly finished tuning the piccolo and your gaze slowly rose back up to the conductor. He was returning the look. You felt your face flush but he seemed unbothered by this look between the two of you.

His attention however was quickly pulled by a violin player who started to talk to him, and you set about to organize your music before you actually began playing.

_ Get it together. _

You weren’t even sure of this new conductor’s name, you were sure it was written somewhere. Riffling through your papers, you searched for his name on some sort of introduction letter. This drew an odd look from Meg.

“What are you doing?” she hissed at you, having seen you take out all of your music earlier. 

“I- uh thought I forgot to grab the symphony.” you stuttered out. “Right here the whole time.” you laughed nervously plucking the sheet of music, which was already out on the stand. She rolled her eyes and got her own music out and open. 

It wasn’t long before your attention was pulled back to the man on the podium. He was back to looking around the room, and thus like magnets the two of you were drawn to look at each other. 

He broke this gaze by looking at his watch and clearing his throat. It didn’t take very long for the rest of the musicians in the room to quiet down and look at him. You marveled at how easily he was able to command the room back into silence. Soon, he had the entire room looking at him expectantly, waiting with baited breath for him to give some sort of command or instruction.

His deep voice soon filled the room, bouncing off the walls and resonating deep within your bones. “Hello and welcome to the beginning of a new concert season. As you are all probably aware, I am Kylo Ren,” when he said his name he looked at you and you felt a pulse run down through your body stopping right at your cunt, “the new conductor. I hope all of you were able to read over the notes I have provided, so that you are aware of how the program will look.” he paused and was checking to see anyone scrambling to look at said notes.

After a few papers ruffled, he continued addressing the group, “Our program will go as follows,” he paused and looked at the notes, “We will start with Mozart Symphony and then we will close with the Holst piece. So after tuning, we will rehearse in that order.” He stepped down from the podium and gestured at the first oboe who began to play the first tuning pitch.

After a few seconds, the other oboe player joined the first and then you, and the rest of the flutes joined in playing the A above concert C. Soon the rest of the orchestra played along with you, and the warm sound that you missed filled your ears.

It wasn’t very long, as only a few people had to adjust, before Kylo stepped back up the podium, and said “ _ Mozart’s Symphony Number 41 _ , from the top.”

Kylo then raised his hands, one holding a baton the other flat, facing down with a slight curve. The entire orchestra raised their instruments and all inhaled collectively when he did, and with the exhale the symphony began. 

While you only got the chance to look up a few times, what you saw of him was enough to sell you on his ability to conduct, not conduct,  _ command _ . His face showed signs of strain, he was physically putting his entire energy into conducting. 

During the softer moments of the piece you were struck by how he didn’t back down. But rather, he seemed to be physically holding himself back from once again throwing himself into it fully. He was magnetic, drawing you in, you couldn’t stop watching him, and frankly you didn’t want to. 

🎵

After you had finished playing each movement of the symphony, he gave feedback, sometimes it was general such as “I need to feel the pulse from all of you, right now you are simply giving me nothing.” or sometimes it was very specific, “Bassists I need you to please play the right notes, we are professionals here.” 

Luckily he hadn’t pinpointed anything wrong with the flutes, but you were rather anxious for your solo. Prior to rehearsal you hadn’t been particularly worried about it, but now all you wanted to do was to make Kylo Ren impressed with you. Or, at the very least, not totally hate your guts.

When you all finished playing Mozart’s symphony, he waited a few moments with his hands in their air, forcing everyone to keep their instruments held up. His face was slightly flushed and he appeared to be breathing heavily. You felt your own face flush, as his slightly flustered appearance reminded you of-

“That wasn’t terrible.” he announced as he brought his hands down. “Clearly it needs some work, this group needs to be more cohesive.” He began adjusting his scores. “Now since this next piece is meant for a military band, I will go ahead and say all of the strings players can leave for the day. Unless you wish to stay and speak to me afterwards.” 

There was suddenly a rush of movements as the string players packed up. “Please be quick about it.” and they got even more frantic. You switched pieces and retrieved the Holst. 

It didn’t take long, as Kylo’s words left no room for interpretation, and soon it was just the woodwinds, brass, and percussion. He had everyone adjust their seats. “I haven’t decided if I will do this during the concert, I will let you know at the second rehearsal.” 

Now that he had you all adjusted, there were no violins in between you and Kylo, so you could see his massive frame up close. His broad shoulders made you feel impossibly small, and you found yourself revelling in the fact that he would completely cover you just with stature. 

He was very tall, you couldn’t tell his exact height, but he was easily 6 foot, probably a few more inches. His height was exaggerated even further with him standing up on the podium. That, and it probably didn’t help that you were sitting below him. 

His hand came up with his baton and you felt your legs turn to jello. His hand absolutely dwarfed the baton, and your mind thought about how his hands would look in other positions. On your face, pulling your attention up to him. On your throat, slowly depriving you of oxygen. Inside your pussy, pumping in and out of you, bringing you to the brink, and pushing you over the edge.

Face flushed, you completely missed the first few notes of the piece. 

_ Fuck, come back to Earth. _

Luckily, you had several measures of rest before you needed to worry about messing up again. You took a few breaths and focused on Kylo, who’s eyes were scanning the group, trying to sort out the weakest link. You met his gaze for a moment and saw a pure hunger in his eyes. It absolutely filled you with need. Need for this man standing in front of you.

Gulping, you refocused on the sheet of music in front of you and with shaky hands raised the flute to your face. The music seemed to recenter your focus and you were able to play through movements II and III without any issues, the only parts that were left were movement IV and the solo. 

The beginning part of the movement was an earworm and you already knew that as long as you were playing the piece it would be drilled into your brain. It seemed to almost play itself, and you managed to avoid looking at Kylo any further, and you were able to focus on the sound. But when you were a few measures out, Kylo looked at you directly. His expression was daring you to mess up, daring you to be perfect. He was leaving the choice up to you. 

Maintaining his intense eye contact, you brought the flute to your face and waited for his cue. You inhaled deeply, as it was coming soon, and held your breath, not daring to look away from him until the absolute last second, he gestured more purposefully towards you and you looked back at the page in front of you to get the notes right.

The tuba echoed your little ditty and you were able to look back at him and you couldn’t quite read what he was thinking anymore. This back and forth between flute and tuba went on for a few measures and then you climbed the register and trilled the last note in the run, before the rest of instruments echoed the last note with you. 

His hands were still raised, his breathing slightly labored, as he looked at you, not breaking the eye contact and you weren’t about to either. This went on for an indeterminable amount of time until he finally lowered his hands and his gaze. His flushed expression once again excited you, this time because you felt as though you were slightly to blame for his disheveled appearance. You could only wish that maybe you could make him look so undone, and not just because of the music. 

After lowering his hands he cleared his throat, “That wasn’t entirely awful, we will be well prepared for this first set of concerts.” he paused. “Soloists were fair, if you have one and haven’t signed up for a private meeting time, please do so now.”

He glanced at you, and you nodded at him. “Well, that wraps up the day. Please ensure you all look over the music, we are professionals here.”

Nodding, you began to pack up everything that had been gotten out, and you looked up and Kylo was doing the same. 

You breathed in deeply as you stood up, “Director Ren?” he looked at you, “I look forward to working with you tomorrow.” you said holding out your hand. You quickly introduced yourself, as he probably had no idea who you were.

“Thank you, I will see you later this week then?” he asked.

“Tomorrow actually.” 

“Tomorrow,” his gaze grew hungry. You shivered slightly under it. “Well, I look forward to a more…” he paused and looked you up and down like a predator hunting his prey, “ _ intimate _ setting with you.” 

“Me too,” you paused before tacking on, “sir.” You could lie and say that it was purely out of respect for the conductor, but the way his hungry expression sent thrills right to your pussy, made it obvious that wasn’t the only reason. 

“Kylo Ren, sir.” a voice interrupted behind you. You turned to see a trombone player. “I have a couple questions.”

Kylo seemed annoyed at this interruption, by his curt, “Yes?” 

You grabbed your belongings and looked over at Kylo, making eye contact with him once more, before heading to the door.


	2. Poco a Poco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For as charismatic as he was on the podium, he was very disagreeable one on one. Or maybe he just didn’t like you. If that was the case he sure stared at you a lot, for someone he didn’t like. 
> 
> Whatever, you could handle a difficult man, any day of the week, and today was just any other Tuesday, no different.

You swung the glass door open to enter the performing arts center and walked to the stairwell. After rehearsals the previous night you had gotten, what appeared to be, an automated email letting you know to meet Director Ren in his personal practice room, attached to his office. You passed up the second floor, with the library and practice rooms, continuing onto the next floor up. 

Entering the third floor, you felt your pulse quicken, you knew he wasn’t unimpressed at last night’s rehearsal, but he didn’t exactly seem blown away. Every musician that you knew, wanted praise like it was a drug, and you were certainly no exception. Your need to impress and please, slowly crept into your psyche, leading you to stay up late, sitting at a music stand, until your jaw ached.

It had been several years since you had done that. Your mouth typically never ached, even with you practicing all day. But his words “ _ Soloists were fair. _ ” echoed in your brain, bouncing around whenever you thought about playing. 

You really hadn’t given much thought to your solo being bad, but it wasn’t good enough for him, so it wasn’t good enough for you. Thus the obsessive practicing. 

You approached Room 322, a small label read,  _ Conductor’s Practice Room _ . You peeked in the small window, and saw it was empty. Trying the handle, you found it to be unlocked, so you walked inside. 

When you flicked the light switch, a large practice room was bathed in harsh fluorescent light. In the corner was a small stack of folding chairs, with two stands next to them. The main focus of the space was a piano, with some music set up on it. It was open to Beethoven’s  _ Pathetique _ , which was a rather cliche song to be playing. It was well known in music circles, as most Beethoven pieces were. 

You idly wondered if Kylo was any good at the piano. Which led to you thinking about Kylo playing for you, and you smiled slightly at the thought. Music had the ability to be such a magnificent performance and shared with hundreds of people, but at the same time it could be an intimate personal experience shared between two people. 

Sighing, you realized that what you were thinking about with Kylo would be completely unprofessional. So instead of staring at the piano, for a completely inappropriate amount of time, stuck in a daydream, you got your own set up ready. You set up the chairs with a professional amount of distance between them, and put a stand in front of one of them. 

After you finished getting set up, you glanced at the time, 9:53, you still had seven minutes to warm up and then tune. You were wondering if his timing would be similar to when he showed up to rehearsal, right in the nick of time.

When you felt as though you had played enough notes, and gotten the metal warm, you got out the tuner. You tuned with a F remington exercise, which allowed you to ensure several notes were in tune. Once you were satisfied with your sound, you got your music ready and glanced at the clock. 9:59, he was almost late.

You continued to keep tabs on the time, watching it slip closer and closer to 10. But before the second hand could have one more click, making him officially late, Kylo Ren walked into the room. 

His sudden intrusion had you almost jumping out of your seat. He was just as large as he was when you saw him the day prior. The rather large practice room seemed suddenly smaller, and you felt the air leave your lungs. 

“Hello Director Ren.” you said as he glanced at the clock. You wondered if he was going to apologize for cutting it so close. When he said nothing and moved towards the second chair, you asked “How are you?”

“I’m well.” he said, and that was the end of that. He adjusted the seat, so he was now closer to you, he glanced at you before setting his own bag down. You fought the urge to frown at him, had he not been taught any manners, or did he just not care? Despite your efforts to keep your face neutral, and apparently you weren’t doing a good enough job, because the next words out of his mouth were, “Is something wrong?”

“Uh- no sir, nothing is wrong.” you answered him feeling warmth spread to your cheeks.

“If I have done something to offend you-” he sighed, taking out a tablet to take notes on, you assumed. 

“No, nothing at all.” you interrupted, wanting this conversation to be over. 

He seemed to accept your answer and continued to get ready, and you prayed that this hour would be over quickly. For as charismatic as he was on the podium, he was very disagreeable one on one. Or maybe he just didn’t like you. If that was the case he sure stared at you a lot, for someone he didn’t like. 

Whatever, you could handle a difficult man, any day of the week, and today was just any other Tuesday,  _ no different. _

He had yet to give you any direction, so you glanced at him before asking, “Should I play through it?”

“Yes that works.” he said looking at the music, which was now pulled up on his tablet. Nodding you brought the instrument to your face, before breathing in and playing, you finished the first phrase, then the second, and finally the third, which ended with a trill.

“Did you tune?” he asked after you finished playing for him. 

“Yes of course.” you answered. “Why?”

“You seem a bit flat to me.” he said pulling up his own tuner on the tablet. He set it on the stand, and sure enough you were flat. You adjusted the tuning slide accordingly and he pulled the tablet back, pulling up a notes page. 

“Um, besides being flat, anything you want me to change?” you asked, now just begging him for feedback. In your opinion, a few measures of solo, did not warrant and hour of alone time with the conductor. 

“Play it again, now that you are properly tuned.” he said dismissively. You did so once again. 

“Play is slower, sustain each note for a few beats.” he said,  _ finally _ setting the tablet down. You started playing each note slowly, and holding it just as he had instructed, and you noticed, with a small glance that you now had his undivided attention. 

You felt the warm press of a hand on your lower back and your sound faltered slightly. His hand sent a spark through your body, creating a shock to your system, as though he was transferring some of his energy into you. He noticed you shift and quickly said, “Don’t stop, just let me adjust your posture.” he told you as he began doing so. 

He pushed you more forward, but maintained his hand on your lower back. Then he proceeded to slightly move your shoulders, allowing them to fall back, relaxing you. He then paused and removed one hand, but kept the one that was on your back.

“See, doesn’t your sound improve when you are relaxed?” he asked after you lowered your flute. It did, it sounded more natural and free. So, you nodded, gaping slightly at him, wondering if he felt the same charge you did.

“Play it again, the same way.” he told you. “Remain relaxed.” You were quick to do as he said, this time he pressed a hand to your stomach, so in a sense he was holding you. One hand on your back, the other on your abdomen. Since he was still touching you, this time was less of a shock to your system, and more of trying to pour water into a cup that was already overflowing. 

“Still keeping relaxed, engage your core.” he said, while compressing slightly. He must have felt your stomach muscles tense up, “Good.” he breathed out. His praise was different then when you had gotten it from other instructors. Instead of going right to your head, it went south as well. It took the dwindling embers from yesterday’s encounter and relit them, starting a fresh blaze of desire for him.

This time, after you lowered your flute, he removed the hand from your abs, but kept the one on your back where it was. It felt natural. “When you engage your core, the sound of your playing gets stronger. It will make the runs easier, and also sound better.”

“Thank you.” you breathed out locking eyes with him before your gaze drifted lower to his plush lips, which seemed to be begging for yours. You looked back into his eyes and saw a familiar look of hunger graze his features. Breaking the gaze you looked down at your flute and then up at your music page.

A hand on your chin, tilted you too look back at him. His thumb resting under your chin, and his finger teasing your bottom lip. “Again.” he urged you. The combination of his tone, not one of pure aggressiveness, but one of complete command, and his finger drawing you lip down, was almost too much for you. This minimal physical contact had your skin absolutely on fire, and he was a combination of water to douse you, and gasoline to ignite you.

He removed his hand from your face, and it felt as though he was drawn to keep it there, and you felt an empty presence with his lack of physical contact. This feeling was heightened when he removed his hand from your lower back. 

It felt like taking a fresh breath of air, but it wasn’t what you wanted, you wanted to feel the room shrink with his presence, you wanted to feel the temperature increase when he spoke. You wanted  _ him. _

You realized you were shaking slightly as you brought your flute put to your lips again. You played the section once again, just as slowly. 

“You sound stronger.” he said, pulling up a metronome, “Now speed up gradually.”

The soft ticking filled the small practice room as you did as he said, now each time he bumped up the time slightly. 

“Faster.” he commanded you, as the speed increased. You were able to maintain the quality you had just built up with him at this speed. 

However, it faltered slightly and he pressed his hand to your back to adjust your posture again, “Good girl.” he murmured in your ear when you were able to fix it. 

Each time it was sped up, your heart rate seemed to go with it, following the metronome as it climbed speeds until you were finally at the correct tempo with it. 

When you finally pulled the flute from your face, you were breathing heavier, your chest was rising and falling with each inhale and exhale. 

“Maintaining the tone is important.” he said, drawing your attention back to him. You looked at his face, which had a slight tinge of pink to it. This led you to wonder if he was as affected as you were. This raw connection that seemed to fester between the two of you, was it all one-sided or did he feel it as well? 

You nodded and met his gaze before agreeing, “Yes, it is important,” you paused before tacking on “ _ sir _ .” His gaze darkened as you did so and you found your mouth getting dry.

He glanced at the clock hanging on the far wall, and you looked where his gaze was and saw you only had 10 minutes remaining of your allotted hour with him. You fought the urge to drop your jaw,  _ it had already been almost the whole hour _ ? 

It almost felt unfair, you wanted to spend all the time you could in his presence. He was so rude and arrogant, but you found yourself wanting his attention when it wasn’t on you. 

He was like a magnet and his presence kept you drawn in and begging for more. The way he commanded an entire room, without even talking, was the same way he seemed to command you, with barely any contact. 

“Play through it one more time.” he urged you. And you did, this time it felt like the pieces were all falling into place. Your tone was warm and rich, and the speed didn’t ruin it. 

After you pulled the flute down he nodded and began to pack up his tablet. You began to pack up all of your music and got ready to head to your work. Checking the time, you hoped you would have long enough to pick up some lunch on your way to work. 

Since he only had a few things he was ready to leave before you were. And when he stood up, you were reminded of how massive he was. His entire frame seemed too large for the size of the room, and even though this was on the larger size of practice rooms, he made it feel like this was the smallest practice room you had ever worked in. 

“Er- see you at the next rehearsal.” you said a bit awkwardly, and he nodded in response before leaving the room. When he left you exhaled, with him in the room it felt a bit like eggshells were not only scattered around, but that someone had glued them to the bottom of your shoes. So that no matter where you stepped you would always hear the crunch of one. 

Once everything was safely stowed away in your bag, you stood up and stretched before exiting the room. You flipped the switch on the wall, once again bathing the room in darkness. 

As you walked down the halls, you scrolled mindlessly through your phone, catching up on whatever was happening in the world. You only looked up when you walked down the stairs, so as not to fall down them. 

The sun shined down on the busy streets as you headed to the subway. You hadn’t gotten very far before you heard a voice call your name. Swiveling, you glanced around to find its source. A man with dark wavy hair was gesturing frantically at you. He began to cross the street to where you were before a car honked at him. 

“I’m trying to cross!” he yelled angrily to the driver before darting over to you. “Excuse me, can I have a moment of your time?” he asked. “Assuming I have the right person.” he laughed before asking for you by name again. “That is you?” he confirmed. 

“Uh yeah, that’s me. Can I ask what this is about?” you asked him, crossing your arms over your chest. He grinned broadly before holding out his hand, and you wondered how many girls he had gone up to, hoping it had been you.

“I’m Poe Dameron, from the Resistance Symphonic Orchestra.” he said and you shook his hand, recognizing the name of who he was representing. A very prestigious group, that was very difficult to get into. 

“Oh, uh nice to meet you.” you awkwardly, still wondering why exactly he was talking to you.

“We have heard amazing things about your playing abilities.” he told you. “And we were wondering, if for the next concert season, you would consider signing with us, instead of resigning with Coruscant?”

You could feel your eyes, practically burst out of your head, in shock. They wanted  _ you _ ? Collecting your thoughts, and returning your face to normal, you smiled and said, “Thank you very much for the offer.” he smiled and nodded at you. “I just don’t think I can say yes at the moment. I am incredibly flattered though.” you assured him.

“Trust me, I understand completely.” he laughed. “A stranger approaches you, in the streets, asking you to join his band.” 

You laughed along with him. “Here is a card with my contact information.” he said, handing you a business card. “Feel free to call with any questions.” he told you, before adding a quick “Our website is on there too.”

“Thank you.” you said glancing down at the card. He nodded, and you once again noticed the time. “I actually have to get going. I need to get to my work.”

“Of course, have a great day. We look forward to hearing from you.” he smiled as the two of you parted ways. 

When you were far enough away from him you looked down at what was written on the card itself.

**Poe Dameron**

_ Recruiting Management Resistance Symphonic Orchestra _

And below that there was a phone number and a website to visit for the orchestra itself. You quickly stowed the card away into your pocket, as if someone would see it and know that you had been scouted by another group. It felt wrong in a way, to hold this card in your hand, and look at it with a sort of longing.

🎵

As you went about the rest of your day the small card seemed to be burning a hole into your leg where it sat in your pocket. Every time you moved you swore you could feel it press into your skin through the fabric, reminding you of this guilt.

Even though you hadn’t said anything to Poe about actually joining the new group, you still felt as though you were being unfaithful to Coruscant. 

This guilt seemed to follow you around all day, like the grim reaper. Every time you finally focused on something else, the card sitting in your front pocket notified you of its presence and this gnawing guilt reattached itself to your brain.

So that when you finally reached your apartment you were emotionally exhausted. Despite your exhaustion, the first thing you did was rush over to the trash can in a rather panicked frenzy to get rid of the offending card. You exhaled once you finished disposing of the evidence. Now it wouldn’t sit there taunting you.

You made a quick sandwich for dinner and parked yourself on the couch and ate it. You were rather calm as you unpacked the day. Kylo Ren had been a good instructor today, and you understood why he wanted to meet with all of the soloists. It was him, who would suffer if any part sounded bad. 

Shivering you remembered his hands on you earlier. His hand on your back, on your stomach, both of those adjusting your posture. However him holding your face and teasing your lip, had no real impact on the music. Only on you.

It made you undeniably wet. His affect on you seemed to not be one sided either. He seemed rather bothered and you wondered if the same desire that seemed to surge within you, was the same for him. 

A small  _ ding _ shook you from your musings and you looked at your phone, an email from kren@coruscantmusic.com sat waiting in your inbox with the subject  _ Soloists _ .

_ I have met with several soloists today and everyone needs to remember to practice, I won’t have my name ruined because some of you fail to realize that you are a professional. _

_ Kylo Ren _

_ Conductor of the Coruscant Symphonic Orchestra _

You stared at the email for a few moments, thoughts buzzing around your head.

_ Was I really that bad that I warranted receiving this sort of email? Was he really unimpressed with me? Or was this something that everyone who met with him got? _

As these thoughts swirled around in your head, one stayed glaringly in forefront of your brain,

_ Can I do better elsewhere? _

That was the thought that prompted you to walk back into the kitchen. It was sitting there, completely untouched by any of the other trash. The business card.

It was as though it knew you could be back. You made your way back to your living room, this time with the card in hand. 

You opened your laptop and typed up  _ Resistance Symphonic Orchestra _ . 

You hesitated before hitting enter, at the moment you were happy and you liked your job. The orchestra was nice and the music was fun. Your finger hesitated over the backspace.

_ Could you do better?  _

Mind made up your finger left the backspace and traveled down, and you hit enter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kudos, subscribing, and wonderful comments I've been getting it means the world to me!! I hope you all liked this chapter, I had a lot of fun writing this one and I hope that translates well into what I actually wrote. This chapter took a bit longer than I wanted to post, but I actually moved into a new apartment for college so that kept my busy. Hopefully the next chapter will be up in about a week though.  
> Once again here is the [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7LMy0NDFzOLRil2Z1Gqpq2?si=KT8PfPNeSx6YWbG8moY2KA)   
> Thank you all again!! Love you all and stay safe!- A


	3. Accelerando

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His command of the room, and all its occupants, felt effortless at the same time. He was not bothered by anything else in the world. No distraction could dismount this great musician of a man, he was on fire.
> 
> Like a flame, his gaze seemed to pierce through the orchestra, letting everyone know who was in charge. He was unstoppable.

As a musician, you are always looking for feedback, and ways to make yourself better. Staying stagnant for too long can lead to losing passion and losing what makes music fun- a challenge. The only way to know your growth is by making yourself uncomfortable, and putting yourself in those positions that allow you to grow. So when the opportunity arises to better your craft, a smart musician will jump at the chance. 

The only question is which opportunity is the right choice? Is staying with the Coruscant Symphonic Orchestra, with Kylo Ren, a young promising conductor the right chance, to grow with him, as he perfects his craft the right choice? Or is leaving Coruscant, and joining the Resistance Symphonic Orchestra, a group that is well sought after, and well known, the right choice?

By looking up the Resistance, you had hoped that your decision would be made up. You kept thinking of ways that staying with Coruscant would seem better, and hoped hindsight bias would play in your favor.

But it did not, if anything it made the case for the Resistance seem even more compelling. They were incredible sounding, no matter what. 10 years ago they sounded just as amazing as they did 2 months ago. And everywhere in between. They never had an off season or a season where they weren’t as strong. It was constantly amazing.

While you were in awe of their ability, the ability to join seemed impossible. They had never held an open audition. You weren’t completely sure what Poe had offered you, if it was an audition or a contract. 

You didn’t want to ask questions to Poe either, and you certainly didn’t want word to get out to Kylo. You had a feeling he wouldn’t take it well, to know that you were even entertaining the thought of leaving. That and you weren’t even sure you wanted to leave.

So instead of easing your tensions, and just declining Poe’s offer completely, you let it fester in your mind further, burrowing itself deeper into your subconscious. 

It left you with a lack of sleep, come Wednesday morning, when you had to wake up and go to work. Even though you had drank some coffee, by the late afternoon you were completely ready to go to sleep, and you weren’t particularly looking forward to hearing a bunch of middle school flutists struggle through their scales. 

So you were incredibly grateful when 4:00 rolled around and the last middle schooler left the practice room. Now high schoolers were out of school, and they were playing music that would more than likely interest you. 

You looked at the schedule and saw that your favorite student was coming in. Paisley had been your student since she had been in 4th grade, and she would be graduating this coming up year. 

The door to the practice room you were set up in, swung open to reveal Paisley standing there. “Hi.” she said cheerfully, her curly red hair flouncing as she made her way to the seat and sat down. Her freckled face was flushed slightly, indicating that she must have ran here.

“Hey kid.” you greeted her. “How was band today?” 

“It was alright, all the other flute players were falling behind.” she told you, getting her music and flute set up. 

You nodded, knowingly. “That’s really what high school bands are like.” 

“Oh, but Mr. Hadley told us more about the concert on Saturday. Did I tell you we were going?” she asked you, rummaging through her bag. 

“You did mention it.” you told her. She sighed in frustration, pulling out a binder and flipping through it. “What are you looking for?” you asked her.

“My grandma was just visiting and brought me a flute book with solos and duets from musicals and I wanted to play one with you today.” she told you, aggressively flipping through a second binder. “Here it is!” she said triumphantly. 

She handed it to you and you flipped through it, “This is really cool, which one were you wanting to play?” you asked her as you passed a song from Wicked.

“Something from Phantom!” she told you excitedly. “It’s been in my head all day.” 

“Okay. We will warm up, and then pick a song to warm up. Do you need to work on anything for class first, though?” you asked her quickly.

“Nope, I want to play something fun today.” The two of you were rather quick to warm up, as you had been playing all afternoon and she had just gotten out of class. So it wasn’t super long before the two of you were looking through the book and deciding on what song to play. 

She ended up choosing “The Point of No Return” which felt like an odd choice, but you enjoyed the song regardless. 

As you played Christine’s part, you couldn’t help but feel the parallels to your own decision. Poe and the Resistance felt like Raoul, a step on your ladder to greatness. Whereas Kylo and Coruscant felt like the Phantom, wanting you to stay and play with him.

You felt like Christine, completely trapped in the middle. She, like you, felt completely seduced by the Phantom, Kylo. Staying with him would be the more risky option, but also could possibly have you feeling the most satisfied, you already liked how you sounded under his instruction. 

But, like Christine, there was a third party, the Resistance, wanting you to join them, like Raoul wanted Christine to go with him. 

And like Christine, you now faced a difficult choice. Where both options seemed impossible.

🎵

On Monday, Kylo Ren was a distraction at best, but on Thursday he was debilitating. Every move he made, seemed to lift your eyes from the page.

Today he was wearing a tight button up shirt, without a suit jacket. The top few buttons were undone, so he would be able to move more freely. The rest of the buttons on the shirt were barely hanging on, his wide chest almost bursting through. You felt compelled to walk up to the front of the room and put those poor buttons out of their misery.

You knew that he looked good under his clothes, simple math, his face, voice, and demeanor, seemed to attract you, so why wouldn’t the rest of him? Out of the corner of your eye you saw Meg, and the rest of your section picking up their instruments, indicating that the rests you had been neglecting to count were over. Luckily, you hadn’t completely lost your place, and was able to play along with them.

As soon as you had finished the phrase, you were back to ogling your conductor. His stance seemed to be even stronger than the previous rehearsal, or maybe it was the odd dynamic that your meeting had yesterday.

Whatever the case, something had shifted slightly, making the already attractive man, seem ethereal. So much so, that if Poe asked his question again, your decision to leave would be met with great difficulty. Not just for his attractiveness, though that was certainly a plus, the way he conducted was nothing like you had ever seen before.

Because he was throwing his all into it, it felt as though he was drawing up the entire orchestra to do the same, forcing everyone else to give all of themselves to the music. 

His command of the room, and all its occupants, felt effortless at the same time. He was not bothered by anything else in the world. No distraction could dismount this great musician of a man, he was on  _ fire. _

Like a flame, his gaze seemed to pierce through the orchestra, letting everyone know who was in charge. He was unstoppable.

After almost missing your entrance for a second time, you thought it was a better idea to focus on your music, and not on the conductor. 

When you finished the Mozart Symphony, he gave you a bit of feedback and had the wind section move closer to the front again. As you were moving everything, you looked out into the audience seating, and felt a rock sink in your stomach.

Poe was sitting there.

You suddenly felt nauseous, what if someone recognized him from the Resistance? What if they knew he had talked to you? Not the type to flatter yourself, you knew he couldn’t just be there for you, there were probably other musicians that had been approached by him. 

He seemed to have noticed you looking, because he gave you a smile and wave. You knew your face was still too shocked to have displayed any signs of recognition, aside from utter terror. 

Poe suddenly looked away from where you were seated, to the center of the stage, and his smile instantly fell. You followed his gaze and saw that you were not the only one to have noticed Poe sitting there.

Kylo Ren was now staring at Poe with disgust and distaste in his eyes. Did Kylo realize who Poe was? And then when Poe looked back at you, Kylo’s head whipped around to face you. 

His face shifted from disgust to utter fury. The expression he wore, made it seem as though he could topple an entire mountain with the amount of rage coursing through him.

This look was terrifying, you had previously thought about being on the receiving end of his intensity, and thought that it would be exhilarating and exciting. However, the anger that was rolling off him in waves, all directed at you, was horrifying.

Once everyone was in their seat, ready to move onto the Holst, he finally spoke. And if his expression didn’t give away his frustration, his tone certainly did. “From the top.” he said and raised his arms, leaving no time for the musicians to even begin to get frantic. 

While you played through the piece, he seemed to have his eyes trained on you, waiting for you to slip up. Before you had wanted no distractions in your way from staring at him, but now your eyes were firmly trained on the piece of music in front of you, only occasionally looking up at him.

The guilt you had felt prior to rehearsal now increased ten-fold. As you moved through the music, movement by movement, your need to leave kept growing. The sooner you got to the end of this practice, the sooner you could get out of this room and away from Kylo and Poe. 

_ When did music become so complicated? _

The end of the piece seemed to be racing towards you now, like a freight train that had lost control. You knew that Kylo wouldn’t purposely mess up the piece by making it faster than marked, but the gleam in his eyes, made you possibly think otherwise. 

Now that your solo was hurtling towards you, it was becoming more apparent that he had no intention of slowing down. You clearly underestimated his frustration at you talking to Poe. 

You were barely hanging on now, and you wondered how no one else seemed panicked. In the corner of your eye, you saw Meg sitting rather smugly, as she played along. She knew that it was being rushed, and she couldn’t wait to see you fail. Your failure would ensure her solos until Kylo Ren left. 

If you messed up, Poe would rescind his offer. Even if Kylo kept you after this, you wouldn’t get a solo and you’d be trapped. 

Ironically, in your panic, you thought back to what Kylo had said yesterday, about relaxing. So you paused your playing and relaxed, and just as the solo got closer, you were ready. Looking up, you met Kylo’s gaze. You were hoping that your gaze read that he couldn’t just manipulate you into messing up. You were a stronger musician than that. 

The rest of the instruments faded out, and you played the first phrase without messing up, the tuba echoed you, neither of you messing up. His gaze darkened and you felt electricity coming off of him in waves. The raw energy of it all charging through you. 

The second phrase went well as well, and Clarence, the tuba player, was also able to maintain his tone. You felt bad for him, caught in the middle of whatever power trip Kylo seemed to have gone on. 

When you played the last bit of the trill without a hitch, Kylo seemed disappointed, which normally wouldn’t have made sense. Since he appeared to be trying to mess you up, you doubted that he was very happy that you showed him up.

After the final note, he held his hands in the air and you were dying for him to give his final comments, the sooner you could get out of there, the better. His gaze traced the entire group before falling back onto you. You finally felt confident enough to meet his eyes.

There was still a hunger behind his eyes, but this time there was anger there as well. You knew he was assuming you would be leaving and after today you very well might be. However this new found panic did not prevent you from giving him a look. A look that read  _ you can’t scare me away. _

When he finally released the building tension by dropping his arms, you exhaled slowly. 

His face was stony as he gave the group feedback. It was quick and emotionless, but you were unable to focus on the words leaving his mouth. Poe was smiling and giving you a thumbs up from the audience. You tried to smile back, but you were pretty sure it looked more like a strangled frown.

“Please remember to practice, your performance will reflect no practicing.” Kylo droned on. He looked at you and then saw your gaze resting on the audience. “My office will be closed after rehearsal today. If you need to speak to me my email will be open.” he said with an air finality. “Performances this weekend and next. Dismissed.” 

As still as the air had been, it was now charged with kinetic energy. Kylo was still staring you down and you gulped, needing to get out of here. Luckily before he had the chance to say something to you, someone was by the podium and a few people had lined up behind them. 

You could escape. 

Throwing all sense of decorum out the window, you shoved your belongings into your bag and hurriedly packed up your flute. 

Meg frowned at your haste, “Got somewhere to be?” 

“No-” you started “Well yes- it's complicated.” 

“Whatever you say.” she said with a laugh as you shot up from your seat. 

“Uh yeah. Bye.” you said, even though you were already halfway through the instruments. 

You heard your name called as you walked through the back room, passed all of the larger instrument cases. Whirling around you spotted Clarence smiling at you. 

“Hi Clarence, listen I really have-” you began but he interrupted you. 

“Wonder what crawled up his ass, and made him rush like that at the ending?” he laughed and you forced yourself to do the same, glancing behind you. You were able to see that Kylo had managed to shoo away most of the people gathered at his podium, but he saw you looking over at him.

_ Got you _ . 

“No idea, sorry Clarence I need to get going. See you later.” you said hurrying for the exit. As you pulled open the door, the entrance hall was thankfully empty. Setting a brisk pace, you hurried to the main lobby doors. When you were two steps away, you heard Poe calling out your name. You had jumped and turned, out of instinct. 

You reacted, so it would be impossible to pretend you didn’t hear him. He was jogging to catch up to you. “Wow you all sounded incredible.” he praised when he reached you. 

“Thank you Poe.” you said glancing behind him. “Listen-” 

You were interrupted once again, not by Poe this time, but by a door swinging wildly open. 

Kylo Ren marched in, and smirked when he saw you. Poe turned to face the door. 

“Hey I have to get going.” he said suddenly, sounding a bit scared. “Great job today. And email or call me, I would love to talk more.” he made his way to the door. 

You were going to do the same, gripping the door handle, and hope that Kylo wouldn’t notice. Though that hope was quickly dashed. He growled out your name.

“Y-yes?” you asked seeing him walk, unnervingly slow up to you, hand still clutching the handle. 

“I would like to have a  _ chat _ with you.” he hissed out the word chat like it was venom he was trying to poison you with. 

“Um- well I need to-” you stumbled out, trying to think of an excuse.

“This won’t take very long.” he said as he finally reached you. 

“I thought you said that you weren’t having office hours today?” you asked. 

He flashed you a sinister grin, “I think I can make an exception.” He placed his hand on your lower back, leading you away from the door. Away from your escape. 

Instead of taking you through a normal route, Kylo Ren led you to a side staircase. He unlocked the door to the stairwell with a set of keys, before returning his hand to your lower back to usher you inside. After you were inside he closed the door and hurried you up the stairs.

The two sets of footsteps seemed to echo endlessly inside the stairs, and that echo was transferred to your heartbeat. The footsteps rushed nature, seemed to only spur your heart to move faster. 

Kylo hadn’t said a word to you since ensuring that you would cooperate and go to his office with him. Your face felt aflame as shame prickled underneath your skin. You had felt guilty beforehand, but this, this was utter humiliation. Like you had been caught with your hand inside the cookie jar. He obviously knew that some sort of conversation had gone on between you and Poe.

Once on the third floor, you pushed open the door. He maneuvered so he was now in front and walked briskly down the empty hallway, not caring whether you managed to keep up or not. 

At the office door, he quickly unlocked it before waiting for you to step inside. Once you did so, he flicked on the lightswitch. The room was bathed in light, and you saw a large wooden desk, that was stained black. A chair sat on the other side of this bare piece of furniture, which held only a few pieces of paper on it and a black pen. There were two deep red chairs in front of the desk, and a standing lamp in the corner. 

Overall it was a bare bones office, with just the essentials. Very minimalist, which didn’t surprise you all that much. 

The click of the lock sliding into place seemed to be a finalizing moment. He was about to chew your ass about leaving. You would be fired, and put on some do not hire list. At least Poe seemed interested in hiring you, and you still had lessons. 

Your buzzing thoughts were interrupted by Kylo finally saying something. “Put your belongings down.” 

You didn’t realize you had been avoiding looking at him, until you were forced to do so. “W-what?” you stuttered out.

“I said,” he took a step towards you, forcing you to back up, so you were now even with the chairs, “put your belongings down.” 

His words left no room for argument, swallowing your pride you set your stuff down in the left chair. 

“So you  _ can  _ follow instructions?” he asked, taking another step. 

“What do you mean?” you were trembling slightly.

“I thought you couldn’t for a moment.” he said, moving towards you in a predatory fashion. “I never gave you explicit instructions, but I thought that it was implied.”

He paused, and your mind raced trying to catch what he was getting at. “What instructions?”

“Maybe that’s what I need to do.” he said, and you were now fully against the desk, the backs of your knees hitting the wood. “Spell it out for you, so there is no room for confusion.” he was not answering your questions.

“I don’t know what you mean.” you told him, almost desperately. 

“And here I was thinking I had an intelligent flute player.” he mocked. “Why were you talking to Poe Dameron?” he asked, changing the subject, his dark eyes grazing over your face. 

“He offered me a position.” you told him, dropping his gaze and looking at your hands.

“I see, and did you take it?” he asked.

“I haven’t answered him yet.” you mumbled out.

“What was that?” he asked, tilting your head up to face him, fingers roughly gripping your chin.

“I haven’t answered him yet.” 

“Hmm. So you thought that you would wait until you got the chance to try both out, did you go to a Resistance rehearsal?” you were about to answer but he continued talking. “Are you going to be leaving  _ my _ orchestra?”

You shook your head and started to answer, “N-”

“Don’t lie.” he said now angrily, shoving you up onto the desk so you were now sitting up on it, legs spread so he was standing in between them. “Did you consider leaving my orchestra?”

You swallowed, it was as though he could see through whatever flimsy facade you had built up. It would do you no good to try and lie again. Kylo had it in his mind that you had considered leaving, and he would see that truth, and that as the only truth. Regardless of its legitimacy. 

So, you nodded slowly, dropping your gaze. 

“Well, as you know you can’t break your contract, for one thing.” he sighed, dropping your chin. “For another, you were mine first.” he said, grabbing right by your scalp and yanking your head back by your hair. You gasped as you registered the sharp pain. “And, little girl,” he said, putting his mouth right by your ear, “I don’t like sharing.” he growled. 

You moaned slightly at his words, as they seemed to travel from his mouth, and speed by your brain and instead found residence in your cunt. 

He chuckled, moving his hands down from your head to your neck, he applied the tiniest amount of pressure and smirked as you whimpered softly. 

“Am I understood now?” he asked, his hand ghosting down your neck to tease at the top button of your blouse. 

“Hmm?” you sighed out.

“You are mine.” he stated undoing the button slowly, as he pushed you down onto the desk. 

“Yes.” you sighed out as he began to softly kiss at your neck. 

He bit down suddenly, eliciting a squeal from your lips. “Yes what? Use your words little girl.”

“Yes I understand.” you sighed out as he returned to kissing your neck. A soft pinch of his teeth made you aware that he wasn’t satisfied with your answer. “Yes sir, I understand.”

“Good girl.” he smirked. “That’s the first completely correct thing you’ve said all afternoon.” His hands busied themselves with undoing the buttons on your top. After you were free of it, his eyes shone with unspoken desire. 

He licked his lips hungrily and began to pepper your chest with bites, each time coaxing a small gasp or yelp out of you. Your hands found their way to his dark hair. It was incredibly soft as you wound your fingers through it. When he bit down particularly hard, you ended up yanking on his hair slightly, making him moan.

You hadn’t even noticed that his hands had crept behind you until your bra was undone and your breasts were free. 

His assault on your chest continued until he was right over your nipples, but instead he teased around them, barely ghosting over them. The contrast had you arching your back up to meet his mouth in an attempt to get it where you wanted.

He tsked at you, “I thought I told you to use your words, little girl.” He continued to suck and bite all around your tits, but completely neglecting your nipples, which at this point were hard from the air conditioner. 

“P-please.” you whimpered out.

He sighed, “Not good enough, what do you want me to do?”

“Please sir. S-” the air left your lungs as he made a mark to the left of your right nipple, coaxing a moan out of you.

“Hmm, what was that?” he asked you.

“P-please sir, s-suck on my nipples.” you gasped out, and as soon as the last word left your lips, you felt his lips wrap around your right bud. 

“See, now was that so hard?” he asked condescendingly. 

You shook your head, and his hand made his way up to your left breast, squeezing it in his large hand, then moving to pinch and tug at your nipple. He lifted his head to look at you, releasing your nipple with a soft  _ pop _ . 

“What do you say when you get what you want?”

“T-thank you,” you said as he gave a twist to your nipple, watching your face contort into pleasure pain, “sir.” 

“Mmm good girl.” he praised you, as he descended onto your left nipple, his hand moving up to your right. His mouth began its aggressive treatment on your left nipple. 

When he tongue swirled around the nipple, you let out a soft, “F-fuck.” but apparently that wasn’t enough for Kylo Ren, because he bit down slightly, causing you to cry out and arch your back. 

At this point you wondered if you had soaked through your panties completely. And you wondered if Kylo would notice and comment on it. 

Your curiosities would soon end as he started to lower himself, now kissing down your stomach. He undid the button on your jeans, and unzipped them, and pulled them down your legs. You were now bare for him, save your panties, as he tossed your jeans into the same pile that your bra and shirt were in. 

You sat up slightly to look down at him as he eyed your cloth covered pussy. “Look at you sitting here soaked for me.” he sighed, touching your cunt through the panties. He chuckled as you shuddered. “Are you always this wet?” he asked.

“Well-” you began but he cut you off.

“Or is it just me?” he asked with a smirk. “Does anyone else get you dripping?”

You didn’t answer, assuming that he would cut you off again. He smacked your thigh and your legs closed automatically as you squealed, “Answer me slut.” 

“No sir, only you get me this wet.” you exclaimed.

“Do I really make you this excited?” he laughed. “When I have barely done anything? You really are a whore.”

He then began to slide your panties down your legs, when they were fully off, he held them up for you to see, “You have made quite the mess of these.” he said, and after a moment he shoved them into his pocket. “If my desk is in a similar shape, I expect you to clean up after yourself.” 

He then wrenched your legs back open, “I don’t remember telling you to close your legs.” and looked down at your pussy. He hungrily eyed it, like it was his last meal on death row. 

“You are partially dripping onto my floor.” he sighed, as his right hand moved down to your swollen cunt. He slowly caressed the outside of your pussy lips, ghosting over your clit, and barely dipping a finger inside you. But the small attention he gave you was enough to make you buck your hips. 

A hand pressing down on your pelvis prevented you from continuing to do it. “Stay still.” Kylo hissed at you, as his hand continued exploring your wet cunt. You moaned when he pressed a finger into your cunt, only to be let down when he removed it. 

“F-fuck, p-please.” you moaned out as he continued skating around where you wanted him to be. When the words left your lips, he pressed two fingers into you, pumping a few times before removing them once again. “Oh god please, I need more.”

“God isn’t here little girl. Only me.” he smirked, but nonetheless inserted the fingers once more and licked a stripe over your clit. It seemed to pulse under his tongue, and you were aware of everything. His hot breath on your clit. His hand pressing you down into the desk. His fingers pumping in and out of you, painfully slow. 

Everything began and ended with him. Your thoughts swirled around him, and your body reacted to every word he said, and every touch he did.

He was the conductor, manipulating your body to create something beautiful. You felt like one of the instruments, sitting there, and he was playing your body to the tune of his pleasure. 

And all of sudden it stopped and he was back to the teasing you. You sat up to look at him, anger and frustration painted on your face. 

He only smirked in response, “I figured you would have caught on by now.” he said as he continued his relentless teasing. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” you asked, obviously very done with his teasing. 

“Use your words,  _ little girl. _ ” he continued to smirk as realization coursed through your brain. He wanted you to beg.

His fingers continued their erratic pattern of barely touching you where you needed them. “P-please.” you started and he pressed one finger into your cunt, not even moving. You laid your head back on the desk.

“Please what?” and even though you had your head back on the desk, you could tell he was smirking. His tone radiated cocky asshole.

“Please Kylo.” you moaned out. 

“I don’t remember being that casual with you, pet.” he said. “It’s  _ sir _ to you.” he punctuated each word with a thrust of his fingers. 

“Pl-please sir.” you stuttered out. “Please fuck me.” 

“Much better.” he said and he began to fuck you slowly on his fingers, occasionally flicking his thumb over your clit. Reducing you to a babbling begging mess. 

“See, now don’t nice things happen when you cooperate?” he asked you, now playing with your clit, whilst pumping two fingers in and out of you. 

“ _ Yesss _ .” you sighed out, eyes closed and back arching slightly. 

“Now where are your manners?” he admonished you, pressing slightly down with his thumb

It was as though he pulled the thanks from your lips, with his hand, because it took you by surprise. “Thank you.” 

“Good girl. You’re learning.” he praised you. He continued his slow fingering, but was now gradually picking up speed, he moved your legs so they were resting on his shoulders, while he lowered himself onto your cunt. “Think you can take another one of my fingers?” he asked you.

“W-what?” you asked him, out of breath slightly.

“Don’t be so incompetent.” he chastised, “I think this tight cunt can take another finger, don’t you?” he asked you. After he was done talking he brought your clit into his mouth and sucked. It was like your brain short circuited. 

The only thing you could think about was keeping this pleasure going, so you quickly sighed out, “Yes.” 

“That’s what I thought.” he smirked, sliding a third finger in with his two finger. 

You felt stretched open, but it was a delicious stretch that felt almost like completion. “Fuck.” you sighed out arching your back once again.

“Your cunt is squeezing my fingers so well, I can’t wait to see what it feels like on my cock.” He quirked his fingers upwards, forcing you to involuntarily thrust your hips. “I thought I told you to stay still.” 

“Sorry sir.” you exclaimed as his mouth returned to your clit, and his tongue resumed its swirling. “Fu-” the word died on your tongue as he sucked your clit into his mouth. 

“You better not cum until I tell you to.” he told you, sensing your impending orgasm sooner than you could. “Or should I even let you cum?”

“What?” you asked, more coherently now that the threat of a ruined orgasm was up in the air.

“Should I let you cum? You haven’t been very good for me.” he told you, removing his head to look up at you. “Look at me when I’m talking to you.” he said, thumb returning to your clit. 

You boosted yourself on your elbows to look down at him. “I’m sorry.” you blurted out as quickly as you could.

“Ah, but what are you sorry for?” he asked with a wide grin continuing to finger fuck you. 

“I’m sorry for talking to Poe.” you said, trying to maintain his rapt eye contact. “I’m sorry for considering leaving.” you began to rattle things off to him, all while your orgasm began to barrel towards you like an avalanche, determined to drag you down into its depths.

“Are you about to cum little girl?” he asked, grin widening as he watched the pleasure begin to roll over your face.

“Yes sir.” you nodded. 

You could feel it, like a cresting wave ready to wash over both of you, taking over what little sense you had left. As soon as you were about to tip over, his hands left your cunt. 

“ _ What _ ?” you asked, sitting up, confused and bewildered. 

“No, you may not cum.” 

“Please Kylo.” you said, reaching for him, “I’ll do anything.” 

“I know you will.” he smirked. It was like those words sent a punishing chill down your spine. He had denied you an orgasm, knowing full well that you would comply to his every wish now.

In response you nodded dumbly at him. “I’ll be a good girl.” 

“Now bend over my desk,” he gripped your chin, “like a good girl.” he said mockingly, squeezing your cheeks and wiggling your head a bit. 

When he released your chin, you slid off the desk, legs a little wobbly, you turned around, and presented your ass to him.

He sucked in a breath, as he looked you over. “You know,” he paused making sure you were paying attention, “I wanted to watch your face, as you rode my cock,” he said, and gave your ass a smack. He leaned in close to your ear to finish the sentence, “but we will have more time for that later.”

You gulped, wondering what all he had planned for you. And what later meant, later today, or later as in another time?

“I’ve wondered what you would look like laid out over my desk since I first saw you.” you heard the unmistakable sound of a zipper, followed by the rustling of clothes. Unable to help yourself you wondered if he was proportional. Your curiosity got the best of you and you turned your head slightly. 

Your eyes were immediately drawn to Kylo Ren’s left hand which was currently wrapped around a massive cock. It had a thick head with a tiny drop of precum on the tip. You wanted to lick it up. 

He was idly stroking himself, almost leisurely. And you found your mouth watering at the thought of you doing that for him. You felt your cunt clench at the thought of him filling you up. You closed your eyes and moved to face back forwards. 

“Your cunt is dripping for me little girl. I can see you clench from here.” he moved his hand down to run over your cunt. He took some of the juices from your cunt and rubbed them down his dick. 

He teased the tip along your folds, rubbing on your clit, and pushing just the tip inside you, before pulling it back out and continuing to tease you. You turned to face him again, this time wearing your best annoyed look. 

“I believe we’ve already gone over what you need to do.” a smirk danced on his face. Eyes aflame with desire. 

You rolled your eyes, and sighed out, “Please, Kylo, fuck me.”

“I could do without the attitude, little girl.” he hissed, pulling you up towards his chest, and holding you against him. You gasped, as his hand traced your throat, “Now what was that?” 

“Please Kylo.” you said. His hand closed around your throat.

“What did I say to call me?” he asked, letting go of your throat. 

You gasped for air as he let go of your throat and took a few breaths before saying, “Please sir. Please fuck me.” 

“Much better.” he pushed you back down onto the desk, and placed a hand on your lower back, while using the other to angle his cock to your entrance. He had no dramatic preamble this time and slid into your cunt right away.

The first feeling of fullness suddenly overwhelmed you, as Kylo Ren’s dick entered your pussy. There was no resistance, as your cunt was already soaked for him, and so he slid the first few inches in. You both exhaled, a small “Fuck.” dying on your lips. 

He took his time fully sliding his entire cock into you. Every time he pushed more of his cock into you, and then backing out, but going deeper each time. It felt like every nerve ending was on fire, as they all responded to his touch.

He already felt completely buried inside of you, so when he pulled himself almost all the way out, only to slam back into you completely, you felt the wind get knocked out of you. It turned out the feeling of fullness could grow even more with his entire length sheathed inside of you.

There was a slight stretch to being filled with him, with a slight pain to it, but the pain was outweighed by this complete sense of satisfaction. The burn that had started when he first entered you was now a roaring blaze, a wildfire. A wildfire that was burning down every single fiber and cell in your body. So that when he left you were just a charred forest, slightly resembling who you once were.

“You are full of me now.” he groaned in your ear. “My cock, filling up that tight cunt. I was right earlier, by the way.” 

He began to thrust in and out of you, and you moaned out at the sudden friction. You realized he wasn’t going to finish that thought without you prompting him. “Right about,  _ oh fuck _ , right about what?”

“Your tight cunt does feel amazing on my cock.” he answered, and you could hear the smug smirk on his face. You knew that it got even worse, when you felt your pussy squeeze around his cock in response. 

His thrusting gradually increased speed until he was agressively fucking you over his desk, pressing your hips into the harsh wood. 

“I want to feel your pussy cum around my cock.” he gritted out, pulling the pair of you back, so you were now resting your weight on your hands, which were planted firmly on his desk. 

He then snaked one of his hands around to the front, where he began to play with your clit. “Oh my God.” you groaned out, hanging your head down, letting it dangle slightly. As though the pleasure made it too difficult to gain control over your most basic functions. 

“Are you already that desperate to cum?” he asked. 

You nodded weakly, your orgasm had been building since he had you laid out on his desk, or even before that, when he was first questioning you about the Resistance. The whole time you had sat in class today, it was like there was a war raging between the two of you. It was now crescendoing into a clash, the emotions that you had been feeling earlier had morphed into something completely different.

The uncertainty had changed into desperation, desperation to keep Kylo fucking you, to let him pleasure you. Fear had turned into pleasure itself. 

Kylo’s shallow thrusts had turned into aggressive pounding, the sound of skin slapping skin filled the tiny office space. What had been merely laboured breathing was now soft grunts and moans. One hand on your hip using it to move you on his dick, the other rubbing your tight bundle of nerves. 

“Such a good little slut.” he praised you, “Taking my cock so well in that tight little cunt.” You began to nod in agreement, but he gave your ass a small swat. “We’ve gone over this several times now. How many times before it goes through your head?” he leaned down, so his weight was covering your. “Use your words whore. I want to hear you say it.” 

“Yes sir.” you cried out, and his chest left your back. While it was now easier to balance yourself you missed his presence right upon you. It had felt altogether suffocating almost but also a welcome pressure. 

“You are doing so well at taking this cock, but so poorly at listening to me.” he growled down at you. “Perhaps we will need another lesson?” he grunted as you clenched around him, “Another- private- lesson.” he punctuated each word with a thrust.

“You would like that, wouldn’t you, slut?” his thrusts managed to pick up speed once again and you felt a familiar coil in your stomach.

“Yes sir.” you moaned out, now holding onto the desk for dear life, like it was your only anchor to this world.

“You’re getting close aren’t you?” you couldn’t find the words anymore, they all seemed to die on your tongue.

“Ah, yes.” you said as he smacked your ass. 

“Cum for me then. If you are so desperate to.” he ordered. “Cum on my cock, slut.” 

The pressure had been building even further, it felt like a tsunami was about to overtake you, and Kylo Ren was leading you to the water, instead of back into safety. He was going to drown you in pleasure, let the waves pull you under as you orgasmed.

“Cum.” 

One word. One word was all it took for the last spec of clarity, and you were dragged under the waves, you let them crash over you, as you cried out. Your body felt purely electric, like a livewire, that was charged with energy, and Kylo kept feeding into it, continuing to fuck you senseless and rub your clit. 

The pleasure coursed through your veins like a disease, corrupting your body, until all that was left was a babbling mess, spewing out thanks and praises at Kylo. You doubted very much that you were making sense and Kylo seemed to revel in it, as he played with your oversensitive cunt. 

“Good girl, good fucking girl.” he moaned out, as his hand left your clit and his thrusts turned from fast and aggressive to more erratic and uncontrolled. “Take my cum.” he said, and you so desperately wanted to face the other way. To watch his god-like face go from the controlled man to completely undone. You wanted to watch Kylo’s face as he lost control for a mere moment. You knew that when you finally did turn around he would be more composed, but you wanted to see him like he was now.

His thrusts began to stutter, until you felt his warm cum begin to fill you up. Each spurt and drop filled you further, making your knees weak.

There were a few moments before he finally pulled out of you growing soft now. He grabbed a tissue from the desk next to your head and wiped himself off. 

You began to do the same and he grabbed your hand stopping you. “No, I want you to put your pants on and your shirt on, and everytime you feel a slight twinge of discomfort, remember me.” he told you before walking over to you, and gripping your chin once more. “And remember little girl, you’re mine.” 

You nodded and began to do what he said, you looked around for your panties and then remembered that Kylo still had them. You looked up to look at him.

“You won’t be getting those back,” he said as he wiped down his desk with some disinfectant spray. 

“Right.” you said, sliding on your jeans, knowing you were in for an uncomfortable afternoon, and you wondered if you would have time to change at home. 

After you had gathered all of your belongings you made your way to the door, before turning around to look at Kylo, who was now sitting at his desk, furiously writing something on some staff paper.

You cut the glance short and walked out the door, letting it fall close behind you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the slower update, but I had a family emergency and then classses started back up for me, and I've been busy with those. I am not sure how often I will be able to post with the semester in full swing, but I will try and update as quickly as I can!  
> As always thank you so much for the support! Would love to hear your thoughts!  
> Much love and stay safe!- A


	4. Pianoforte

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The small hairs on the back of your neck prickled, like someone was watching you. Instinctively you turned around, and saw the man who had been plaguing your psyche. He was dressed nicer than you had ever seen him dress, in a suit and tie, topped with a jacket that felt blacker than black.

You knew that you would be sore from getting fucked on Kylo’s desk, but you were not prepared for the sudden sharp jabs of pain you felt on Friday morning. After shifting slightly in your sleep, you were woken up by the first stab of pain. You swore under your breath as you felt the pain blossom across your lower abdomen.

In the moment Kylo’s cock had felt like a welcome pleasure-pain, but now it felt like pain, just pain, and not the fun kind of pain, a muscle ache. However, at that moment you were glad for your IUD. 

As you slowly stretched your muscles and sat up, you were now aware of the fact that the pain was not only around your abdomen and vagina. But there were also bruises where he had grabbed you, and a slight sting on your ass where he had smacked you. 

Glancing at your thigh, you saw where his hand had gripped you, and you noted how far apart the finger imprints were. You attempted to line up your hand with it but couldn’t. On the other side there was a matching set. Physical evidence of what he had done to you. You pressed your finger onto one of the bruises and sucked in a breath. It stung a bit, and you bit back a moan. 

You wondered what your chest looked like, if it showed the same physical marring that your thighs did. Sliding your legs out of bed, you padded across the soft carpet to your bathroom. As you flicked on the lightswitch your eyes were drawn to more bruising, from your neck, all down your collar bone to the top of the shirt you were wearing. Peeling it off, you were met with the sight of your chest, covered with evidence of Kylo Ren appreciating your chest.

The continuation of the inspection of your body led you to one conclusion, all of your summer clothes would be impossible to wear looking like this. Marching from the bathroom to the closet, you swung the door open to try and figure out something to wear. 

Muttering to yourself about bad decisions and selfish men you attempted to cover the evidence with some makeup rather than clothes. You ended up looking at videos on tips and tricks.

Willing no one to look at, or comment on them, you marched out the door. With Diana there was no such luck. After only a few minutes of sitting at the desk with her, she began laughing to herself.

“What are you laughing at?” you asked her, although you were quickly able to deduce what it was.

“Get into a fight with a vacuum recently?” she asked with a laugh. Your hand instinctively went to one of the nastier marks on the left side of your neck. 

She laughed even harder, “Wrong side girly.” you groaned and put your face in your hands. “Or have you got more than one? And just did a shit job of covering this one?”

“Shut up.” you told her, embarrassment evident in your tone. 

She slid her chair over to you and grinned at you. “So who’s this mysterious person?”

“No one- err, a mistake.” you said. 

“So which one, no one or a mistake?” she asked you, searching your eyes for an answer. 

“Both,” you answered quickly then revising, “I don’t know.” you sighed, trying to return to unboxing some music technique books. Diana pulled the box out of your hands and swiveled your chair to face her.

“What happened honey?” she asked you.

“Well I hooked up with someone, but now it feels like the wrong thing.” you told her earnestly. 

“What makes you say that?” 

“It’s complicated, our positions at work complicate things. In the moment he looked at me like he wanted me more than air, like I was the last meal on the planet, but then before and after, he barely regarded me. Only wanting me when it’s convenient for him.” you told her, hoping for some advice or consolation about the matter.

“Has he contacted you since?” she questioned.

“No, and I don’t think he will.” you answered honestly. You didn’t know what Kylo wanted from you and frankly you didn’t know what you wanted from him. The draw to him that you felt was obviously somewhat reciprocated. But what this meant, you weren’t sure.

“Is he another musician?” 

You swallowed and didn’t meet her gaze once again. “Sort of.” you knew that him being the conductor further complicated things between the two of you. Regardless of what you wanted, your career would always come first, no matter what. 

“Right, well you aren’t giving me very much.” she paused, and grabbed your hand, prompting you to look at her. “And I have a feeling you don’t want to talk all that much about it.” you nodded. “But I am here, if you do find yourself wanting to talk.”

“Thank you Diana.” you said, and the pair of you set about unboxing more music.

🎵

Throughout the rest of your day and the next morning your mind buzzed with thoughts of Kylo. Not just of more confusing thoughts, but of his mouth, his cock, his hands, but also his  _ words _ . 

Words that he spoke into your skin. Were they promises,  _ ‘you were mine first’ _ or were they wishes that he spoke so they would come to fruition,  _ ‘you are mine.’ _ And what did it even mean? What did he mean by the word  _ mine _ ? Yes you were in his orchestra, and worked directly under him, but so did everyone else. Meg wasn’t  _ his _ . And neither was Clarence. 

What made you so special? These thoughts swirled through your mind as you donned your performance outfit. Thankfully you had more time to cover up the marks covering your neck and chest, and you looked over each one individually making sure it wouldn’t be noticeable. 

A notification on your phone let you know the Uber you had ordered had arrived and so you made your way downstairs to head to the concert. 

The ride was short, and you soon arrived at the concert hall, since it had gotten dark the marble pillars outside now had light streaming down them, illuminating them in a soft gold. 

You walked past the front of the building to the side door, and swung it open to let yourself in. As you walked past the lobby you saw ushers and greeters placing programs where they belonged and doing some last minute set up. The bartenders at the cocktail bar were setting up to serve the guests at tonight's performance. All of these actions made you smile softly to yourself. There was electricity in the air during a performance night and it charged you up. 

As you opened the door to the backstage area you were met with the soft din of musicians tuning, warming up, or chatting. You found yourself a space to get ready, and began to prepare for the concert. Midway through your warm up cycle, the new flute player, Alicia made her way over to you. 

You smiled at her and brought your flute down from your face. “Hello.” you said politely. “Did you have a nice day?” you asked. She nodded quickly. 

Despite her response, you could tell she was a bit nervous, and you couldn’t blame her, this was her first time working with a professional group. “Did you?” she asked, whilst getting herself set up. 

“Yep.” you answered quickly, thinking back to your cervix, which was currently still aching. You were about to go back to warming up, when you heard an all too familiar, unpleasant man call your name. 

Mentally you swore, as you recognized the voice, Noah. He smirked as you turned and faced him, a pretend smile of pleasantry painted on your face. 

“How are you doing tonight?” he asked, leaning against the wall, trying to appear casual. 

“Fine.” you said currently hoping the conversation would be over with. 

“Nice, nice.” he said. “I had a great day today,” and proceeded to walk you through his entire day, of which has no real impact on you whatsoever. Attempting to convey you didn’t have any interest in what was being said, you tried to bring your flute to your face. But he just kept talking and talking. 

“I’m sorry, but did you need something?” You turned to face Alicia, in a tiny bit of shock. 

“Well I-” Noah began but was cut off. 

“Because we are trying to warm up, and we can’t do that with you sitting here, talking away.” she said. You looked at Noah who looked absolutely appalled. You stifled a laugh and ended up coughing. 

“I-” he said. She gave him a look, which read  _ quiet. _ He didn’t say anything else, and once he was out of earshot, you turned to face Alicia. 

“Thank you.” you exhaled, relief washing over you. You continued to prepare for the concert. 

“Of course.” she said and as she returned to setting up. “If he bugs you, don’t talk to him.” You paused for a moment to regard her. The words settling in your brain. What she said was true, but felt wrong and off to you. After realizing you had been staring at her for too long, you shook your head and returned to warming up. 

The small hairs on the back of your neck prickled, like someone was watching you. Instinctively you turned around, and saw the man who had been plaguing your psyche. He was dressed nicer than you had ever seen him dress, in a suit and tie, topped with a jacket that felt blacker than black. 

As usual his expression was unreadable, giving you no indication into what he was thinking. He was just looking at you. A chill crawled up your spine, and you looked away, instead refocusing on your music. 

After you and Alicia had finished tuning you made your way to your seats. Before you could walk out the curtain, Kylo had appeared out of nowhere. 

“A word?” he asked and Alicia nodded, leaving the two of you. He turned to face you, before using his hand on your lower back to maneuver you towards the wall.

Back pressed against the wall, he caged you in, using his body to block whatever was about to happen. His hand traced your cheek for a moment, then used his finger to tilt your face up to him, he leaned down and for a moment you thought he would kiss you. Instead he leaned down to your ear and whispered, “I meant what I said little girl, you’re  _ mine. _ ” 

He pulled away and regarded you for another moment, eyes flashing with possessiveness. When he walked away you still leaned against the wall, mildly breathless. Frustrated that he was so easily able to get to you. But at the same time feeling like a scolded child. Even though you hadn’t done anything wrong. 

After a few seconds of collecting yourself, you peeled yourself off of the wall. Although you desperately wanted to stay there forever, in hopes that he might come back. You quickly shook your head to clear it. What has this man done to you?

Shaky legs carried you to your seat, you didn’t see Kylo anywhere in the room, allowing you a few precious minutes away from him. “What did he want?” 

Alicia was looking at you expectantly, and you could only mumble out a lame, “What?” 

“Director Ren? Did he want to talk about your solo or something?” she asked.

“Uh, yeah.” you said. “Wanted to make sure I remembered what we went over during the one on one meeting.” you told her. And it wasn’t a complete lie. He did want to make sure you remembered what happened, only it had  _ nothing _ to do with music. 

“Of course.” she said and returned to getting ready for tonight’s event and you did the same. As you looked at the music in front of you, you remembered you were here for one thing, music. 

It wasn’t long before the entire group was getting into their seats, and the concertmaster walked out. All noises cease and she tunes the entire symphonic orchestra, making sure that you all sound cohesive. After she is satisfied she takes a seat. There are a few moments of silence and then you hear it, the door opening, the entire orchestra stands up as he walks in. 

The audience is applauding and you see him advancing towards the podium, he shakes the concertmaster's hand, briefly acknowledges the audience before seating the orchestra. You watch as he steps up on the podium, and your eyes briefly meet as he raises his hands to start the concert. 

The first piece goes by rather quickly as you are focused on the music, and you barely look up at Kylo. There is a fear, a fear that if you meet his gaze, you won’t be able to let go of it. You know that his eyes would bore into you, seeing past your every defense. So you settle on avoiding it as long as possible. 

During the transition between the pieces you kept your head down, avoiding looking at Kylo once again. And you did so successfully until he was right in front of you.  _ Fuck. _

You kept your eyes on the stand until he raised his hands once again and you breathed out, forcing your eyes from the stand, to not miss the cue to begin. He was looking at the rest of the group, and you were able to start the piece without meeting his gaze. The first three movements went by without a hitch, and you were able to once again avoid looking at him. 

You knew it would be impossible during the fourth and final movement, because of your solo. As he paused in between the third and fourth movements you looked up. This time there was no avoiding it. He was looking right at you.

After holding onto you with his eyes for just a moment, he looked back at Clarence, and you felt yourself exhale as you looked back at the music. It wasn’t long before the music was starting and you were off. You desperately wished for it to slow down, prolong your impending moment, but like always, the music doesn’t wait. It continues on and you watch as the last few measures draw closer and closer. 

It isn’t long before you are forced to look up at him. You make eye contact and wait for the cue.

You barely feel yourself play through the solo and you focus on the fact that when you are done you can just leave and go to bed, and leave your problems with Kylo Ren for the next rehearsal. You reach the final run, climb up the notes, trill for a moment, and the last beat is hit. That’s it, the concert is over. 

Sometimes moments feel all too quiet, but this is not one of those moments, this is the opposite. This moment feels all too loud, the audience is deafening and the lights are too bright. 

You stand up and accept your applause as one of the soloists, nodding your head briefly in thanks. When you look to your right you see a hand extended towards you, a large,  _ very _ familiar hand. You gulp and shake Kylo’s hand, and instead of meeting his gaze you take a trick that you learned in a public speaking course, and you look at his forehead. There were slight lines in it, like he’s frowning at you, but you are too done to care. 

You let go of his hand and he signals the rest of the group to stand. You all accept the applause and it is but a moment before he leaves the stage. Everyone is able to get their belongings picked up and off the stage. 

Tonight, there would be no hanging around and chatting, getting out quickly became your priority. You made your way back towards backstage, and luckily no one tried to stop and talk to you.

Fortunately, you glance around and don’t see Kylo anywhere. Unfortunately, in order to leave, you have to pass by the lobby. Where he will most likely be, talking to donors to try and get them to either continue donating or up their donation amount. 

As you pass by the lobby you hold your breath, hoping that he wouldn’t notice you. You are almost at the door when you hear your name called out. 

Turning you see a shock of red run towards you, and you are wrapped in a hug. “That was so good.” Paisley squeals as she holds onto you tightly for a moment.

“Thank you Paisley.” you tell her with a smile as she lets you go. 

“Your solo was very good, and I was sitting there, thinking, that’s my teacher. I was so proud of you.” she said grinning ear to ear. 

“You are too sweet.” you tell her, “What did you think of the rest of the performance, my solo was only a tiny part of it.” you tease her.

“The rest was good, I enjoyed the second movement of the Mozart piece quite a lot. It was very soft and melodic, but also felt like building.” she chattered on for a moment, the excitement evident in her voice. A large burst of noise distracted you and the pair of you glanced over to see a donor laughing and patting Kylo on the back. 

As you looked over you caught his gaze once again and mentally you swore. You needed to get out of there. Paisley was still prattling on about the various pieces she heard tonight, when you said, “Hey listen-” 

But she was now looking over at the tall conductor, and asked, “Isn’t that conductor new?” 

You turned to face her again, “Yeah he’s new.” you paused and stole a glance back over to where he was. He was gone. “Paisley-” you began again. 

“He seems super serious. Like he never learned how to smile.” she said with a laugh and you smirked at her joke. 

“Yeah, that might be the case.” you said. You were still not able to locate Kylo and were about to tell Paisley that you were tired when she suddenly gasped and said-

“Oh my gosh.” You looked up and saw Kylo a few feet away from the pair of you. 

“Director Ren.” you breathed out as your eyes met his, yours searching for understanding,  _ what did he want? _ Not only in this moment, but in general, what did he want with you? He greeted you the same, with a nod.

You then remembered Paisley, who was still next to you, practically vibrating with excitement at getting to talk to a professional conductor. “This is Paisley.” you said, placing your hand on her shoulders, “One of my lesson students.”

She stuck her hand out abruptly, and shook his when he did the same. “Hi, nice to meet you.” she said quickly, but didn’t stop there. “The concert was amazing tonight. I enjoyed all the pieces you played. And you conducted so well.” 

“Thank you.” he said. Paisley was stopped from saying anything else to the man as a girl rushed up to you.

“Paisley, we need to go. Mr. Hadley is rounding everyone up.” she said and then registered who was all there. “Uh- Director Ren great concert.” 

“Thank you.” he said, as both girls rushed off after saying quick goodbyes. As soon as the two of them were out of earshot Kylo turned to you.

“They were rather enthusiastic.” you said trying to ease whatever tension had been building. 

“Indeed.” he said. 

“Yeah Paisley is-” you began but he cut you off.

“I didn’t come over here for small talk.” you abruptly closed your mouth, and then opened it again to speak.

“Why did you come over here.” you asked, already having a hunch as to why he did. 

“I think we both know the answer.” he said, “My office in twenty.” and walked away, leaving you stunned. He was expecting you to walk up those stairs again and wait for him?

You stood there for a moment, soaking in the moment, and the proposition. You glanced towards the side door, hand fidgeting at your side, the time you had shared last time in his office was enjoyable, but it left you with an odd feeling. 

It wasn’t regret, you had enjoyed it and it was a moment you would gladly do over. Which you were heavily considering now. It wasn’t anger or frustration, you hadn’t expected anything from Kylo so the proposition seemed reasonable.

It was more of a longing. You longed for something he wasn’t giving you, and you wanted it. The physical act of a kiss felt suddenly more intimate than his cock buried in your pussy. The exchange that the two of you had, was not intimate, it was raw and passionate, but not intimate. It was possessive and claiming. 

You slowly brought the hand that was fidgeting up to your lips, briefly touching them as though that simple act would ease their ache. But it didn’t, and the ache was not only in your lips, but it was felt throughout your body. 

A soft exhale, shuddered its way through your lips, and you made your decision. Turning on your heel, you walked to the side of the lobby, and passed by the staircase. Instead of making the walk up the stairs to his office, you went out into the cool night air. 

There was a slight night time breeze that ran down the street as you hailed a cab. You gave the driver your address and looked out the window as the large concert hall faded from view, until it was opaqued by tall city buildings. 

As the cab sped through the city, you felt a relief, Kylo would walk into his office, and not see you there. He would probably wonder where you were, and that gave you some satisfaction, maybe he would wait for you a little longer, realize you weren’t coming, and then go home and jerk off thinking about you. 

A smile tugged at your lips as you thought about that, but a brief panic encapsulated your mind, would he be mad? He most certainly would, he made it abundantly clear what he wanted from you, and you did the opposite. But the small victory played over in your head, you only wished you could see his face when he realized you weren’t there. 

The cab made a turn and you were suddenly on your street, and as you got out into the night you felt proud of standing your ground. While saying no to him in the moment would have felt better, actions spoke louder than words. And you were currently screaming. You left what you were screaming up for his interpretation, but hoped that some message might get across to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry for the delay but it took me a while to write this chapter but I officially have the entire fic plotted out and I am so excited for it! I hope you all enjoy this chapter, thank you again for all the kudos, subscriptions, and bookmarks, it genuinely means the world! As always please stay safe! Love you all! -A


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